A Christmas Lifeline for Guys

Guys, we all know we basically suck at getting Holiday gifts for those in our lives. It’s not that we don’t care; it’s just that we HATE shopping. If we could do all our shopping at the Tim Horton’s drive through we would. “Get in and Get out” that’s any guys shopping motto.

So let’s get at it… here’s the list and where to get ‘em.

The Wife or Girl Friend
She probably has an iPod you bought her a couple of years ago right. But what guys don’t get is the feminine set care more about having an assortment of colours than they do about how many GIG’s it holds. It’s an accessory, like shoes, a necklace or earrings they have to have more than one to match their mood, outfit, or … yes their shoes. Apple has just released a new series of iPods in a pile of cool new colours from pink, red and purple to yellow, green and orange as well as silver and black. Want to shuffle the songs… give it a shake, turn it on its side and the display changes from portrait to landscape perfect for those “Young and Restless” soaps she misses working at the office. Buy one online from the Apple Canada site www.store.apple.com or if you like to buy local, Advance Electronics has a great selection. Don’t forget to get it engraved if you want the ultimate lovin’.

Dad
He still has a pile of old vinyl he refuses to get rid of doesn’t he. He probably has a new computer and maybe an iPod too. Wouldn’t you regain that favourite son status if you got him a turntable with a USB cord that would let him digitize his entire Neil Diamond collection onto his computer? The Numark TTUSB Turntable or another brand with USB connectors is easily found; try Mother’s Music, Long and McQuade or Advance for around $250. It comes with Audacity software and is simple to use.

Little Kids
Wanna drive your sister nuts Christmas Morning? Buy her 5-year-old a harmonica. They are cheap, cool, too big to swallow and defendable (Hey sis, I’m only contributing to his musical education!) A Hohner Marine Band, Blues Harp or Special 20 will set you back around $30. Most music instrument stores have them so try Quest Music, Long and McQuade, or Mother’s Music. They come in different keys so you can buy more than one!

Teen
Don’t buy them music! This is sure to decrease your cool quotient as an uncle. Even through “Snow Patrol” was hot last year they are yesterday’s news…trust me. Instead go to the iTunes website and purchase a printable iTunes gift card. You can purchase from $20 to $200 so come on big spender step up for at least $50. This is also the perfect gift at 7:10 PM on Christmas Eve after the stores have closed and you’ve just realized that you missed purchasing a gift for your sister-in-law. Launch iTunes on your PC and click “Buy iTunes Gifts” print the thing right on your colour printer at the office. You’re welcome!

Brother-in-Law
We all know you are so much cooler than he is, so prove it by purchasing him a selection of the recordings by the 2008 Polaris Music Awards finalists including the Weakerthans - Reunion Tour, Stars - In our Bedroom after the War, Two Hours Traffic – Little Jabs, Caribou – Andorra or Black Mountain – In the Future. Try grabbing them at Into the Music, Music Trader or CD Plus.

The Office Crew
Office party music is brutal. For the hip and happening Christmas tune-age you need to buy James Brown’s “Funky Christmas”, Merry Axemas from guitar slingers like Kenny Wayne Sheppard and Jeff Beck, Twisted Christmas by Rob Rivers full of hilarious song parodies, or Bells of Dublin with artists from Rickie Lee Jones and Jackson Brown to Elvis Costello.

Mom or Mother-in-law
OK this is the big one. …don’t screw it up. Christmas is crazy time and Mom has the most to do and would appreciate anything you did to make her life easier or better.

Give her tickets so she can take her daughter/granddaughter to the Royal Winnipeg Ballet’s “Peter Pan” during Christmas week and throw in a brunch at The Hotel Fort Garry. Call Ticketmaster or go to the RWB Box Office at the corner of Graham and Edmonton.

Moms want Christmas to be stress free so give her some relaxing songs that will have her basting the bird in rapturous bliss. Start with Celine Dion’s “These Are Special Times”, mix in Clay Aiken’s “Merry Christmas with Love”, sprinkle on some Chris Isaak’s “Christmas”. Pour yourself an eggnog with a double shot of dark rum, plug in the headphones to the TV and turn on some college football.

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